A Short Stay in Hell, Read #9

I think of my bike ride, now, heading home at 1:30am. 9 miles. It is lonely, and dark, and quiet. And I think about the ending of this book that I just finished for the 9th time. I don't know if I have it in me to deal with what it brings. And that is a powerful statement. Because it brings hopelessness, despair, and a chill that sticks with you for days. But still, I cannot help reading it, and understanding something of eternity, and life, and love, and connections; something of the truest meaning of loneliness there could ever be and overcoming that feeling with an image of this hell -- endless in any real sense, and in the realization of what I have gotten myself into. Because I will never end, but I will always progress. But that level of progression is scary. What is required of myself is terrifying. I will die. And I will never be over.

"Yet a strange hope remains. A hope that somehow, something . . . someone, will see I'm trying. I'm really trying, and that will be enough." --A Short Stay In Hell

One thing I realized from this read and none of the other's was the absolute idea of being trapped. In all of my life, and in all of everyone's life there is always a way out of every single situation. You can always opt out. "This is too hard for me, I'm leaving." Death, (regrettably) can still be an answer. It is a way out. But in this, I was able to see that in eternity, in a Hell that might as well last forever, there is no way out. You are forced to remain, to stay until your eons upon eons are up. One of the most scary claustrophobic thoughts I've had in a long time.

Seriously, everyone, read it. Get it here and read it. It will change your life! 

(Sorry is this post is . . . well . . . it is 12:20am and I'm still at work).