Day 20: Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

1. When I was . . . 5 or 6 (Not sure), we were on a family vacation to Oregon and then to California. While at California we went to a pool where I stood by the side while my older brother, and cousins played and swam. I remember being jealous that they could swim and I did not know how. My younger (by only 2 months or so) was even swimming. And so, being rebellious and upset, I climbed by my self up a very tall slide, (I at least remember it being tall), and slid down. Nope. Still didn't know how to swim. I popped up gasped, and dipped back down. I felt as though no body knew I was there as I thrashed about, trying to get some air. I was terrified. I did not know where the edge of pool was, where I was and if I'd be able to get back up. I remember being under the water, reaching  up when a hand grabbed mine, dragged me, (only a foot or two) and placed it on the ledge. I was then pulled above the water. There, climbing onto the ledge, and turning around to haul me up was Tim, my older brother. He had seen me, (he was literally the only one that saw what had happened), gotten in the water and pulled me to safety. I remember a very strong feeling of wanting to give him something. Haha. It sounds funny now, but the gratitude I felt as a 5 year old was about more than I could bare. I am still grateful. Who knows what could have happened.

2. Many of my memories are from the woods and forests that we lived near in North Carolina. I really miss them. There just aren't forests like that here in Utah. They were beautiful. We would explore them for hours. Play hid and seek, do dangerous stuff, throw rocks, become snipers and ninjas, build fires, swing from vines, get stung, skin knees, watch the moon, catch fireflies, climb and climb and climb, and fall in love with the world around us. It seems now like something Mark Twain could have written. It gave me a love of nature and of exploring and in my adult life I want my kids to have those same experiences. It has greatly shaped who I am. These truly are some of my favorite memories. I was lucky to have the childhood I had.

3. My Dad took Tim and me on a late night walk once, on the "Greenway" in North Carolina. I don't remember who saw it first, Tim or me, but there was a small flash of light and then it went away. My dad, while we were on a bridge, leading over a small creek, stopped us and crouched. "That could be a homeless man with a cigarette." At the time, I had no idea why it would light up randomly, but I was scared nonetheless and ignored my ignorance and questioning mind. We saw it again and he held us, not sure if we should turn around or continue one. Finally, he began creeping forward. I didn't want to go. I had seen homeless people before, found their clothes or "homes" in the woods, but for some reason, I thought this one was dangerous. Perhaps because it was dark. It turned out to be the moon reflecting on the water of the river. I really never knew if my dad was just joking with us or not. I suspect he was now, but at the time he freaked me out pretty good.

Day 19 : If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

I am fairly certain that no explanation is needed.

Day 18 : What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Forgive? Wow. . . I can't think of anything I haven't forgiven. . . Maybe no one has every really offended me, or I just get over stuff quickly. Oh, wait . . . There was this time that my older brother, Tim, wouldn't let me get on the computer to check my email. (I think I was hoping for something from a girl). He was playing Command & Conquer, so obviously, emotions were high. He said in 5 min. and so I waited. But after five min he continued on his quest of domination. I insisted it was my turn, but he relented and continued to attack and slaughter his enemies. So I did what any hormonal, impatient, taken advantage of, misunderstood and so obviously unique and alone teenager would have done. I pushed the power button.

Tim was furious. So furious, in fact that he stood up and in one fluid motion picked up a nearby stool and smacked me in the side with it. I punched him once in the stomach in a frail attempt to get back at him and quickly ran up the stairs. (He was/is much stronger than me and I wasn't going to risk more injury than I'd already sustained). This was the only physical fight I can remember us ever getting into.

I probably will never forgive him for playing as the evil Brotherhood of Nod. He really needs to stick to GDI. Sheesh. It was embarrassing.

Day 17 : What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

Currently, I'd say microbiology. Still mad I need to take it again. But I think I wish I was better at science. I really enjoy it and feel like I understand it, but only after a lot of study. Like, I feel that it doesn't come as naturally to me as I would like. I think basically my wish would be to be done with my bachelors and already have the knowledge... well, that's not true. Maybe, I would wish that it came more naturally to me. Eh, I don't know what I wish... How about, I wish I was better with money management.

Day 16 : What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

1. Completing a Mission
2. Getting Married
3. Having kids
4. Getting an honorable mention for my story, Beacon
5. Beating Lesa at Monopoly

Day 15 : If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

An animal? Uh, human, I guess. haha.

I think I'd want to be some sort of bird. Like a Hawk or something. I'm not really hunted and I can fly. I would love to be able to fly. Plus, I'd be able to "CAW" and could go really fast. So, yeah . . . a hawk.

Day 14 : Describe 5 strengths you have.

1. Good at biking. I really think that I am a very good biker. I've been serious biking sense I was 14, so... 12 years.

2. Writing. I write a lot and love it. I've won a few things because of some stories I've done.

3. Labs. I do really well in labs. The hands on part of science I do very well at.

4. I think I'm a really good dad. I love being a dad. I hope I'm right.

5. I can do a head stand.

Day 13 : Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

1. Bad . . . no horrible anxiety when taking tests. Really affects my grades on them.
2. I think, when it comes to religion, I can be a bit prideful. I've been working on this one.
3. Money management.
4. Math. Seriously. I study and study and still suck at it. I've come to terms with it.
5. Angry driving? I don't drive angry. I just get angry in my head. I think it is because I usually bike and so the very few times I have to drive I get really frustrated because of traffic.

There are more, but it only asked for 5. :)

Day 12 : Describe a typical day in your current life.

8:30 -- Lesa/the boys wake me up. (This is pretty hard core sleeping in for me, so I'm pretty happy about it).
8:40 - 10:00 -- Eat breakfast, get dressed, play with kids, clean. (Not really in that order)
10:00 - 10:15 -- Bike to UVU
10:20 - 11:00 -- Study
11:00 - 12:50 -- Biotech class
12:50 - 1:05 -- Bike home
1:15 - 2:00 -- Lunch, shower
2:00 - 3:00 -- Go to the gym (Mon, Wed, Fri) with Jaron. (Tues, Thurs, look at 3-4:30 and its basically the same.
3:00 - 4:30 -- Clean, play with kids, yard stuff, errands.
4:35 - 5:00 -- Bike to work
5:15 - 1:15 AM -- Work
1:20 - 1:55 -- Bike home
1:55 - 2:05 -- Get ready for bed
2:05 -- Go to sleep

Day 11 : Describe 10 pet peeves you have

Pet Peeves . . . I don't know these until they happen. Haha...

1. This one is because I am constantly annoyed by it at work. When people purchase a shared web hosting account to host their business website and do no research about they type of hosting before hand. (I could rant for a while about this, but I won't it's annoying when they complain about things that they really should have known before purchasing an account).

2. When I'm at school studying and someone (clearly seeing that I am studying) sits with me to chat.

3. I really don't like being late to anything.

4. When people are late.

5. Biker's who bike on the road however they want. There are biking rules that if people followed then people probably wouldn't hate bikers so much. (cycling, not motorcycles).

6. When people say, "that's retarded," or "that's gay."

7. One-uppers. Most people do it, and that's fine. It's those that do it all the time. That constantly have to know more, be better or top other peoples stories.

That's pretty much all I can think of... I'm sure there are more, though.

Day 10 : Describe your most embarrasing moment.

Honestly, I can't even think of one. There have been times when I've done dumb things or, whatever, but honestly I can't think of one. I don't really get embarrassed easily. Hmmm...

Well, a few days before highschool graduation I got pants'd. That was embarrassing. Seriously... I can't think of one.

Day 9: List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

OK... these seems hard but easy.

1. Lesa -- She makes me a better man. Her influence in my life has helped me to see things I never would have and to have the confidence I sometimes lack.

2. Dad --  I look up to him, and he has really helped me to become the man/husband/father I am today. He has helped me to know what is important and what to stand for.

3. Mom -- She has helped me to be a better person every day. She is uplifting and does all she can to make sure everyone around her is happy. She is very caring.

4. Prof. Tabitha Bush -- She was one of the first teachers I had. She taught astronomy and really made me want to pursue a career in science.

5. Dan Simmons -- Author of Hyperion. Reading his books made me want to step up my writing. Made me want to add philosophical meaning into my writing. It was a big change for me.

6. Carl Sagan -- Advocate for science. Another influence to push me towards a scientific career.

7. Dr. Heath Ogden -- My college biology teacher. An amazing man who teaches with passion, solidifying my decision to major in biotech. His love of evolution is amazing, as well.

8. Christ -- For obvious reasons. He influences so much of my life. His teachings and example help me to become a better man.

9.  Jeff Root -- Who would have thought that an Agnostic (or Atheist) and a religious guy could be such great friends. I've had some of the most meaningful and thought provoking discussions with him.

10. Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley -- He really seemed to know what matters. He taught a gospel of love! A truly great and wonderful man.

Day 8: What are 5 passions you have?

Oo-la la. Passions, eh. Ehem, I mean . . . yes. This is a good questions. It is actually the easiest one... I am not going to expound on anything... I'll just answer. (And these are in no particular order):

1. Biking
2. Religion/Morality/Ethics
3. Fatherhood (I guess we can include husbandry)
4. Writing/Reading
5. Science

Day 7: What is your dream job, and why?

Ever sense I was in high school I have wanted to teach. That is, teach at a university level. The only thing that has changed is the subject. It started with history, then English, physics, back to English, philosophy, Physics again, and now Biology/Genetics, (which I'm sure is where it will stay). So, the dream job is teaching. I love teaching. my current calling is Elders Quorum teacher and I love it. I am sure there will be other things that I will also love. Research, etc., but the end goal is teaching in a university setting while researching. I think that would be wonderful!

I love learning, and I love learning from a great teacher. The best I can remember for me were Prof. Ogden, Prof. Jensen, and Prof. Birch. I want to be like these people. I want to show people why biology, or genetics, or whatever is important and why we should find it important. I want to engage peoples thinking and make them want to learn. I am learning so much right now and am finding out there is so little I know. I want to keep learning and show others what I know so they can keep learning too.

Day 6: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

Wow... I don't even know. I'd have to say the third really bad flair up I had with Ulcerative Colitis. This happened in Feb-Mar, 2008. I was in the Amer Fork hospital on an all liquids diet and felt horrible the whole time. Lesa, after I was released, not feeling any better, got me into the UofU where I got better, but the whole experience was dreadful. Seriously, if it wasn't for Lesa I don't know how I would have gotten through it. My family wasn't even around. (They were in Vienna) She was my rock. I had just switched jobs and had no insurance and could not miss the training for my new job. I was throwing up 10-20 times a day, my colon ached and burned constantly and I passed a lot of blood, calling for another blood transfusion, (I had had one earlier from another flair up) and I had two sores (from Pyoderma Gangrenosum) on my back. And so, I still had to endure 8 hours of work, online classes, taking care of a new puppy, all while being sick. And then, finally after the insurance kicked in and the training classes were over I went to the hospital and they only made me worse.

I could ramble on about this but I wont. The important parts are: 1. It was hell. 2. Lesa was/is amazing. 3. Amer Fork Hospital is not to be trusted.

Day 5: What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

I like how it says right now, and not just 5 things that make you the most happy. Because, to me, those are two very different questions and would have two very different answers. So, here are the things that currently, as of right now, are making me the most happy.

1. Seeing my kids every morning. I am usually off to work at 4am, but with my schedule change, although there are a lot of crappy parts with changing schedules, I sure love waking up and seeing my kids.

2. Having a plan for graduate school and what I want to go into. (Genetics, btw. I am planning on going to the U and getting a PhD in human genetics. I've been thinking about this a lot and I know it'll be tough work, but I think having this plan has really made me want to try hard and aim for it. I'm very excited about it).

3. My wife told me I looked a lot thinner yesterday. That was pretty awesome because I've been working hard to lose weight and only recently has it been really showing.

4. Being able to bike everywhere. Although biking home at 1:30 in the morning actually really sucks, I am happy and proud of myself for sticking with it.

5. Currently, the wind is blowing South to North, which means that it will be easy(er) sailing home. There was one night where it blew against me at 15-20 mph and I was ready to turn around, ride the wind back to work and sleep under my desk until Lesa could come get me in the morning.

Day 4: List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

OK . . . I honestly don't know. Maybe because on so many levels I feel 16. Haha. Well. I gotta make an attempt at this, so . . . here we go. Also, I was 16 in 2002, so I have to think back to how stuff was back then.

1. "Do well in school. Take it seriously. Make it a priority."
2. "Keep a journal. And try not to write too much stuff about girls and more about your daily life. At 26 I won't care who I had a crush on."
3. "Learn how to manage money. It will suck. It still sucks. But it probably wont suck so much if you start now, at 16."
4. "It is OK if you don't know everything. Ignorance should not be a shameful thing. It should be shown, or how else will you really learn."
5. "Don't seek money. Money should be a side effect of what you love. Seek learning and growth and with it you will be financially stable. Unless you get a philosophy degree . . . that may not be too wise."
6. "Stop drinking soda. You're making it hard for me to quit, ten years later."
7. "Have fun. Seriously. Have fun!"
8. "On your mission, do not give blood while you're fasting. And don't eat the onion blossom to end you fast. I want to know if this triggered my Ulcerative Colitis or not."
9. "Keep biking. Don't ever stop."
10. "Order some king crab legs at Red lobster. There is no need for us to wait until we are 20 to try them. They are like heaven in your mouth. You'll thank me."

I hope these suffice.

Also, I read this after I wrote this. Deals perfectly with #4. It's from my favorite web comic XKCD.

Day 3: Describe Your Relationship With Your Parents.

I am pretty lucky. I have absolutely wonderful parents and have been lucky that we've always been close. I remember in High School talking about my dates and girl friends with my mom, and both of us talking about our day, or what we were currently doing. I feel we were very close then and that has made us close now. I mean, we've never really had any major arguments, either. Like... most were probably because of me. Being home late, bad grades, that sort of stuff. Most of the time she couldn't even get mad at me too long. She'd be in the middle of telling me how I need to be home on time and then would start laughing. (Now, being a parent, I have the same problem, and Lesa does too. When Maddox is screaming sometimes I have to wait at the door to get my giggles out). I love my Mom and we have a great relationship. She is a nurturer and shows her love for me, and my siblings, unconditionally. She is fun, and I've always been comfortable talking about anything with her. And she's always been including and was always trusting. I even remember times watching music videos when she came in and started head banging to the music. There are many many little things that she has done, and I think those are the most important. Reading to me and by brothers during the summer. Being silly with us. Watching my kids for me, being as good of a "Nana" as she was a mom. She's made me into a loving and caring and non-cynical person. So . . . I'd say our relationship is good.

My father is one of the biggest influences in my life. When I was 8 he introduced me to comics. (Spider-Man). This lead me to love books and learning. Much of the direction in which my life has gone was because of his influence. I started writing seriously because of the things he taught me and showed me when I was young, as well as when I was older. He would take me and my brothers on "Journey's of Discovery" where we'd go out into the world and learn about nature: its beauty and purpose and how it worked. I know he was busy when I was a kid, but I don't remember that. I remember him taking time to hang out with us. Now he and I are close, talking about things we have in common like philosophy, religion, science, and books. I think I am very similar to my dad in the way I believe and think. And really, I owe it to him. I can't think of a better relationship between a father and son than I have. I can only hope to be half the man he is when I "grow up". Through our relationship I have a love of books, of nature and of doing what is right. I love my dad! He has done more for me than I think he knows.

I have wonderful parents and a wonderful relationship with them. They mean the world to me.

(I also love my Parents-In-Law, btw. Thought i'd throw that in there. They are great!).

Day 2 -- 3 legitimate fears and why

This is interesting... Because my fears change as I get older. So I'm not really sure what is on the top of the list. Hmmm... Well here it goes.

1. I think my biggest fear is something happening to my wife or kids. This seems like maybe a cop-out, but I am serious. I really really really am terrified of this. For example, the other day my wife left for Heber before I felt for work. I hadn't heard from her when she got there so I tried calling. No answer... So I then I called her parents house. Her dad, Wade, answered and said she wasn't there and didn't know she was heading up. I freak out. I am in the car and pull off, ready to drive up the canyon and call in late to work. I try her cell again... no answer, and she should have been up there 45 min. ago. Finally, I try her mom's cell. She answers and say that Lesa as with her and had forgot to call when she got there. Probably a bit of an over reaction on my part, but seriously... it is a terrifying thought to lose them. This obviously came about by getting married and having kids and not trusting Utah drivers very much.

2. Spiders. When I was ten I lived in North Carolina. I was there when Hurricane Fran hit, also. The day after my brother and I went to walk through the "Green Way" to see the destruction the hurricane had caused. Apparently, through the wooded path a tornado had landed, causing a lot of large trees to fall across the path. It was pretty cool for a 10 year old. We climbed over large fallen trunks and at one point Tim (my bro) walked down one of the trunks while I jumped down. When I noticed what he was doing I turned to climb back up, but in my way, on the trunk, were about 30, 50 cent piece sized spiders. I freaked out. They were all around me and I couldn't get out. Luckily, Time came back and helped me out. I had to step on some. After that I've had a pretty bad fear of spiders. (To be honest it's gotten better than it was).

3. Probably cancer. Ever since I got ulcerative colitis I am worried that I will get colon cancer. Sometimes I think it is an irrational fear... and it is a risk I am aware of, which means I can nip it in the bud when it probably will happen, but I still can't help being scared of getting cancer. I've had this fear since I was about 15. Well before the UC. Actually... i think I am more scared of my boys getting cancer. I think that would just break my heart. No kid should ever have to deal with that.

30 things about me month

So my wife is doing this... so I thought that I could as well. It's a challenge where I write something about me each day. There are 30 different... categories(?) that I do each day. So, here is what I will be writing about for the next 30 days.

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for. 

So, here is the first. Not sure if anyone will find this at all interesting, but I'm still going to do it. So here we go: 1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

1. I usually tell people I bike to get in shape and save on gas, and I guess in part that is true, but really it is because I feel some moral obligation to the environment not to drive a car. (I realize, also that this does nothing to help the environment, hence me saying "moral obligation" and not something like... "doing my part"). :)

2. I hate that I have curly hair and try to hide it as much as possible.

3. I'm majoring in Biotechnology.

4. I wish I could major in English or Philosophy.

5. I am a skeptic when it comes to a lot of stuff, (and I think this bugs my wife), but unless there is a lot of scientific proof I generally don't believe stuff whole heartily. 

6. I think science is one of the greatest things and one of the most important aspects of our lives. I am a big advocator of science (just ask the people I work with at Gandolfo's). 

7. The only thing I feel is a bit more important is my own religious views.

8. I think religion itself isn't the key to a persons salvation, but the way in which they think and live and love. However, at the same time, we need religion to give specific guidance and for ordinances. 

9. I often ramble when talking about science or religion.

10. I've lost over 30 lbs. since last August.

11. I really want to tech at an academic level, and that is why I'm taking biotech.  Better avenue into teaching.

12. I half to always sleep on my right side, because if I sleep on my back, stomach or left side I snore. (It's weird).

13. Sometimes I wish I was a vegetarian, but then I remember how much I love seafood.

14. I've written three books, (sci-fi), and only 1 person has read all three. (They are obviously not published . . . well, professionally published).

15. I have two diseases and at one point had three: Ulcerative Colitis, Pyoderma Gangrenosum, and Pulminary Eosinophilia. 

16. I once punched a kid at church (he was my age, so kid might not be the best title), because he was picking on my brother.

17. I really like art, drawing, painting, and I think I'm actually really good, but I don't have the patients to ever really do it.

18. I have found, working in some version of IT, (web hosting) that this automatically means I can fix computers... I can't fix computers. 

19. I voted for Bush in 2004 and regret it. I voted against Prop 8 in 2004 and am still proud of myself for sticking up for gay rights.

20. I failed Microbiology last semester by 1% and still think my teacher was one of the best I've ever had. (The failing was stupid, I understand the subject extremely well, and really enjoyed it). 

This was hard, and I kinda feel like they are lame, but whatever... I tried.

Star Wars Day

I have a confession to make . . . I don't like Star Wars. Sure the first three movies (made) are fun to watch, but it has done serious damage to peoples view of sci-fi. Star Wars is not sci-fi. It is fantasy . . . in space. And, since I obviously take sci-fi seriously, I have had to come to grips with no liking Star Wars. Sorry if your view of me has changed forever. I hope we can still be friends.

A Short Stay in Hell, Read #9

I think of my bike ride, now, heading home at 1:30am. 9 miles. It is lonely, and dark, and quiet. And I think about the ending of this book that I just finished for the 9th time. I don't know if I have it in me to deal with what it brings. And that is a powerful statement. Because it brings hopelessness, despair, and a chill that sticks with you for days. But still, I cannot help reading it, and understanding something of eternity, and life, and love, and connections; something of the truest meaning of loneliness there could ever be and overcoming that feeling with an image of this hell -- endless in any real sense, and in the realization of what I have gotten myself into. Because I will never end, but I will always progress. But that level of progression is scary. What is required of myself is terrifying. I will die. And I will never be over.

"Yet a strange hope remains. A hope that somehow, something . . . someone, will see I'm trying. I'm really trying, and that will be enough." --A Short Stay In Hell

One thing I realized from this read and none of the other's was the absolute idea of being trapped. In all of my life, and in all of everyone's life there is always a way out of every single situation. You can always opt out. "This is too hard for me, I'm leaving." Death, (regrettably) can still be an answer. It is a way out. But in this, I was able to see that in eternity, in a Hell that might as well last forever, there is no way out. You are forced to remain, to stay until your eons upon eons are up. One of the most scary claustrophobic thoughts I've had in a long time.

Seriously, everyone, read it. Get it here and read it. It will change your life! 

(Sorry is this post is . . . well . . . it is 12:20am and I'm still at work).