Book List

So, this semester is going to be even more taxing when it comes to the sheer amount of books that I am going to have to read. Not sure how I am going to do it . . . a lot of reading in all of my spare and listening to books on tape. (I did get a Kindle for convenience which is exciting). Anyway, here is the list of books for this semester, most coming from Adolescent Literature and Modern American Literature:

01. As I Lay Dying -- William Faulkner
02. The Short Stories -- Ernest Hemmingway
03. Thirteen Stories --  Eudora Welty
04. Miss Lonely Hearts & The Day of the Locust -- Nathanael West
05. Collected Poems -- T.S. Eliot
06. Selected Poems -- William Carlos Williams
07. The Poetry of Robert Frost -- Robert Frost
08. 100 Selected Poems -- E.E. Cummings
09. Plays -- Susan Glaspell
10. The Giver -- Lois Lowry
11. Forever -- Judy Blume
12. The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Edward Irving Wortis
13. Bud, Not Buddy -- Christopher Paul Curtis
14. Middle School:  The Worst Years of My Life --  James Patterson
15. Hunger Games -- Suzanne Collins
16. Unwind -- Neal Shusterman
17. American Born Chinese -- Gene Lang
18. Stop Pretending -- Sonya Sones
19. Thirteen Reasons Why -- Jay Asher
20. Deadline -- Chris Crutcher
21. Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie -- Jordan Sonnenblick
22. Rules of the Road -- Joan Bauer
23. Boys, Wolves, and Other Things that Might Kill Me -- Kristen Chandler

There are more, but I haven't gotten those lists yet.

I also need to read 1,500 pages worth of other young adult books, and reread The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman for my final paper. I am not very familiar with young adult fiction and so, if anybody knows of some good books that will help me fill the extra 1,500 pages of reading I need I would greatly appreciate it.

Abrupt Recollection in Passing

This is a poem I wrote at work after someone walked by me and I smelt their perfume, or soap or something and it immediately brought up memories of hills during my childhood and then just as quickly they faded away. I think it is interesting how smell can instill such a deeply ingrained memory within us to call up images and feelings instantly just in passing. 

Green hills that seem to fade as fast as they come
I can see them, however
clear, precise, from the smell --
They are real, or apart of who I am
I am only but a memory, or maybe many.

Races and SWAG

Jaron and I at the start of the Tough Mudder. It was not a warm day.

My brother Jaron and I love races. We've ran in quite a few together, and (as soon as I am able) will probably run in many more. But our reasons aren't really your typical reasons. Honestly, neither of us enjoy running very much, (and if I had been better this year we probably would have done more bike races than running, but neither worked out). But what we do enjoy is race swag, (which, turns out it stands for Stuff We All Get--I learned this on Sunday and was very excited). 

Stack of shirts from races.

Best part of the Tough Mudder -- the muddy mile.

At the end of my first 10K, ran with Jaron, my dad and Aunt Melanie.

Sure, there is that great feeling of accomplishment and feeling good that we've ran a race. And in pretty much every race we actually do race each other for the last 20 meters, for pride reasons, or something. But really, we like the T-shirts we always get, and stickers that we can put on our computers, or something.

I plan on doing many more races next summer after getting back into the swing of things.  Should be fun, as they all, for some reason, are.


Here are some more pics of us at races:

McKay, Me and Jaron at the Turkey Tri

Me and Jaron at the Zombie Run and our Zombie Apocolypse Rescue Team Shirts.

The Boys

 Maddox and Asher have been growing up so much this summer I can hardly believe it. It's amazing to see them change and grow. A few days ago I was going through some old pictures of when Maddox was Asher's age and Asher was just a little newborn. It was incredible to think that so much time has past and to see how only they both are now. So here's just an update on them.

Maddox has started asking tons of questions. He is very interested in the body. Especially about bones. If you ask him he can tell you what is inside of them, why they are hard, or what makes them hard. He can name a bunch of different bones and how they connect and draws pictures of the skeleton and will explain it to you. He asks about how they move, (muscles, etc.) and also loves seeing pictures of bones, muscles, and organs. The other day he spent 30 minutes or an hour looking though pictures of the "Bodies Exhibit". He is absolutely fascinated by the body.

He is also becoming more and more independent. He is able to do a lot of things on his own, like cleaning his room, setting the table and making up all sorts of games to play with Asher, (who loves the games), doing chores without being asked, making lunches for himself and Asher, (while Asher takes his nap), along with lots of other things. But this new independence has also made him very opinionated and he lets you know when he doesn't agree with something.

We are also going to try and get him back into gymnastics. He has so much natural ability it is ridiculous. He is already able to do a headstand for about 5 seconds. He can do a lot of tumbling and swinging from the bar also. And, one of his favorite positions to watch TV is on his head, practicing his headstands on the couch.

Maddox is also a huge sweetheart. When anyone is hurt or sad, (and I experienced this a lot while sick) he will sit with them, hug them and tell them it's going to be OK. He'll also hold your hand or rub your back when you need a little boost. He's very aware of others feelings.

Asher is growing up too fast. He wants to be just like his big brother and it shows in how he acts. He will pick up things so incredibly fast, I can hardly believe it. He has been talking since well before he was one, and I can probably attribute that to Maddox. And since then he hasn't stopped talking. He actually is very good at picking up on words and phrases. For being 2 1/2, the way in which he can talk to you astounds me. He is very thoughtful and clear with what he says. One of my favorite things is when he says, "Every time he wakes me up". He will say this when Maddox is being talkative at night. I am just always impressed that I am able to hold very real conversations with Asher at only 2 1/2.

Asher is also someone who is content with just hanging out with you. He loves sitting and reading,  playing IPad and watching videos with 'FashaPa', and takes his time with stuff. I love in the morning getting up with him and just making breakfast and hanging out with him. We'd sit and eat, (and drink tea... he loves tea) and just talk. Talk about what he wants to do that day, what he likes or things is fun, he'll ask me how I slept, or how I am feeling, (he'd ask that when I was sick). He is just so fun to hang out with.

Asher is also one of the best eaters I've ever known. I mean this in the sense that he will eat or try anything. There are so few things he doesn't like it amazes me. I call him the garbage-disposal, but Lesa really doesn't like that nickname. I'm not saying he gorges, or is eating constantly, but he just loves food. He'll snack on plane lettuce or cabbage, doesn't matter. It's impressive. The only thing I can think of that he will not eat is hummus, (which is unfortunate).


Both boys love to bike. Maddox has a Trek bike that he says is faster than my Felt (brand) and loves to remind me of it. He is constantly reminding me of this when we talk about bikes. Asher has a tricycle, but he says it's a Trek also. They all think my bike is slow. Both also love our garden, (and their Nana's garden). They go out every morning and pick strawberries to eat, doing the same (with strawberries and raspberries) at my moms (Nana's) house. Both love books and reading, and being read to. When I'm reading on the couch, a lot of the time Asher will grab a book and sit with me and read.

They also both love playing "Super Hero's", "Cars" (in which they run around in a circle and stop to make Lesa or me change their tires), Jumping from everything, sword fighting, (which always ends in tears), reading, along with tons of other things.

 Both boys are growing and changing so much, I can't hardly believe it. Hopefully, though, this has given you an idea of how fun they are and you've enjoyed this update as much as I did writing it.

My Summer

This was in the Provo hospital waiting to get
my blood clot removed.

I had some big plans this summer. In fact, all last summer, and through the winter I trained hard on the bike, running and swimming to ready myself for several big races I was determined to participate in. I think I was in the best shape of my life at the beginning of this year, in fact. Could swim a mile, run at least a 10K, and bike 100 miles . I felt good. I had planned on racing in the Utah Half Triathlon, and even signed up and paid for the Salt to Saint, 24 hour biking relay race. It was going to be a great summer.

But then I got sick. In March I started showing some vague signs of my Ulcerative Colitis (UC) returning. Nothing too drastic, I was still able to run in the Dirty Dash, and bike often, having no pain and little discomfort. However, I wanted get the problem taken care of, and having not have a flare-up in about four years, decided I should find a GI doctor to evaluate me and mainly just make aware that I was showing UC symptoms. I had all the meds I needed, but still thought it a good idea.

The doctor, (Dr. Schmidt) thought it a good idea to give me a colonoscopy to confirm that I did indeed have Ulcerative Colitis, and not something different like Crones, etc. Although, at the time I figured the procedure couldn't hurt I also knew it was completely unnecessary as I'd already been diagnosed, and have an accompanying disease called Pyoderma Gangrenosum, that only  appears if a person has UC. But, anyway, I got the colonoscopy, confirming I had UC and showing where the flareup was.

They upped my meds to help fight it, however, because of my already compromised immune system the colonoscopy caused me to get a very bad Clostridium difficile infection (C dif).

At Provo hospital, in the ICU after the blood clot proceedure

Two days after the colonoscopy I began to have sever stomach pain and began passing large amounts of blood in my stool. It wasn't until a week later that I was able to get a lab order from Dr. Schmidt to try and see what was going on, which indicated the C dif infection.

Because of the constant pain I was in, and not to mention the effects of the antibiotics I then had to take I was bed ridden--couldn't work at all.

I feel here is where things, for me started to really weigh down. We went through our humble savings quickly at this point, needing to get meds and go to doctors, etc. and not being able to move through most of the day, and not being at work both Lesa and I felt the stress and burden of not only the illness, but financial worries. I spent a lot of the day in agony over what we were going to do, but thanks to some very wonderful people, (and my family, especially), we were not left stranded and without a way to pay bills and feed our kids.

After being on antibiotics for a week and a half, and not getting any better, but really feeling worse and worse I went into the hospital, under Dr. Schmidts direction. I had to go up to the Riverton, Alta View hospital, which made things more difficult as it was a ways for anyone to travel.

Maddox one day made a stack of my pills. After the
blood clot the amount doubled.

The doctor confirmed that the C dif infection was gone, and that we now were only dealing with UC. I felt relieved, and saw an end in sight. I hoped they could put me on better medicine to treat the UC, as I was still in a lot of pain, and bleeding quite a bit--the meds I was on did not seem to be working. However, after two days and minimal visits from the doctor, I was still taking what I had been taking at home and the doctor still refused to make any changes to how I was being treated. After four days and a lot of frustration in the lack of support being given, I asked to be released. 

I really can't express how frustrating this was. I sat in the hospital taking the same meds in the same way that I had done at home with no difference except for where I was. I would talk to my doctor every day about getting on something different, however, he would not consent to doing something more effective (which, the treatment I wanted to be on, as it turns out is now standard). I would constantly tell him that this has been going on since March, but it would fall on deaf ears and he continued to say this treatment is all he was willing to do. 

First hospital visit.

And so, after four days of a worthless hospital stay I insisted on going home, not feeling any better than before. Before leaving, he ordered an X-ray, (the first test done since I'd arrived) which showed the UC had not gotten any better from the time I was admitted. It was a week later, still being bed ridden and very sick that I met with my doctor again to try an discus getting on the meds that I knew would help. He finally consented, but, I first needed to go through a series of tests to make sure I was healthy enough to be on the meds. (The medicine was an IV treatment that would greatly effect my immune system and so I needed to be sure I didn't have TB, or any STD's as well as test for C dif). The results came back -- I still had C dif.

I called my doctor, frustrated and angry that this infection was still here, (and probably never really went away) asking to be put on a more potent medicine, Vancomycin, explaining that I had not worked for 3 1/2 weeks and really needed to get this taken care of. He refused to change my meds, putting me back on Flagyl. After a week of still more severe pain, stress over work and money and near immobility, the meds having no effect on any of the symptoms I showed I woke up at 5AM with severe pain in my left leg. Lesa and I both thought it was a charley-horse, or something like that and so I laid in bed, ate a banana and hoped the pain would leave. But it didn't, in fact it continually grew worse. 

At 7AM I stumbled out of the bedroom in immense pain to see Lesa staring at my leg in shock. I looked down and my calf had turned purple and was extremely swollen. It felt as though every muscle in my body had flexed and I could barely touch it. She rushed me to the car, along with the kids all while calling my mom to meet us at the emergency room. I still am not sure how I made it into the car, or especially into the emergency room. My Mom, (and eventually, Dad) stayed with my in the ER while Lesa took care of the kids. I cannot describe the pain that I was in at this point and after four 4mL doses of Dilaudid, (a very potent pain killer), my body finally stopped shaking from the shock and pain. The did an ultra-sound on my leg and found that I had a deep vein thombosis, (DVT)--or blood clot in my calf. 

Still in a great amount of pain, the put me in an ambulance and took me to the Provo hospital. The plan, (as far as I understood it) was to go in from behind my knee and break the thing apart, or blast it, or something. Once that was done they would put me on blood thinners. Apparently, this proceedure was a bit risky, but because of my good heath, (current conditions not counting) because of biking, etc., this operation should work. The standard treatment, (I guess) is just massive blood thinners with some other meds to slowly break it apart. So, needless to say, I was glad they could go in and get rid of the thing quickly. 

I stayed in the ICU for another two days after. This was because, after breaking up/removing/blasting the clot, I needed to be on blood thinners. This was especially risky because of the UC and C dif that caused me to already bleed quite a bit. Here, I got a team of doctors, (vascular, GI, infectious disease, and the hospitalist) who began to work with me and ALL of my conditions. Getting me on new medicine for the C dif, creating a plan to deal with the blood thinners, and clot, and preparing me to get on the IV treatment (once the C dif was gone) for Ulcerative Colitis. 

I needed iron.

After five days in the hospital I was released, already feeling slightly better and much more positive than I had felt in five weeks of being sick. 

The Sunday after, (I was released on a Wednesday) I stopped passing blood. The following week was a bigger turnaround than I thought possible. I was able to get out of bed and walk (hobble with a cane) around. The pain began to lessen significantly, and a week after getting released I began physical therapy on my bike (mounted on a trainer). I felt great and planned to go to work the following week. I went to multiple doctors appointments, (dropping Dr. Schmidt completely), and with each one was reassured that they knew what they were doing. 

I still am working on getting to be 100% better. I've lost over 30 lbs during this whole thing and have very little strength, but I'm determined to train and work hard again for the rest of summer and over the winter to be back to where I was at the beginning of the summer. 

I also cannot express how grateful I am to all of the people that helped us along the way, emotionally, physically, financially, etc. (you know who you are and I will never be able to thank you enough). The emotional strain that all of the worry I had would have been so much worse without all of your help. 

Also, I cannot thank Lesa enough. I wish I could just write about all that she did to take care of me while I was sick. Seriously, it is unbelievable. She set up appointments, made countless calls for info and help with treatment, took me to all my appointments and labs, dealt with many unsavory people (that's for another post), supported and dealt with me and my multiple breakdowns and struggles and shortcomings and frustrations. Kept me uplifted and positive through much of it, took care of the boys, got my meds and the list goes on and on. She truly is amazing.  

All in all, this took place over 8 weeks, 6 of which I could not work. It was a long hard road, but now, it seems that things are getting much better.